zero

May 3rd, Wednesday
i write on inspiration, no inspiration = no write. even when i write poems its like that too, cannot kek out the creative juices one. kek too hard wait sai come out instead. but then on the otherhand you can't wait for inspiration forever, you can wait forever until also sai come out and no inspiration. aiyoh, its a lose lose situation. haha. so i decided to sit infront of the com and start some thoughts and hopefully the thing flows. yup, dear reader : this is a good time as any to click that trusty little box marked "x" at the top right corner of the internet explorer window before you get bored to death. haha.

the mundane...
my results are partially out, even as we speak more are plodding along the way into my school's online website. i've got a B+ in audit and assurance, B+ in management of people at work and a B in computer as an analysis tool. poetry results coming out at 5pm today, haha. nervous. then theres finance left, dunno why the professor is taking so long...maybe need to dhl the papers back from hongkong. lol. he's a hk prof. in the meantime i've been working at knight frank part part time. part part cos the hours are short, cannot even consider as part time so part part time. looking for a less part-ier time job, applied for life bookstore at tm but no reply, walked into the seven eleven across the road to ask but they dun have, no internship either so i'll prob start on some comm service stuff and complete it by this hol. 80 hours altogether, no joke. if u wanna sell flags can sell until yur legs turn jelly also cannot finish. also need to find a balance between effeciency and meaningfulness cos i could prob do a short camp and finish all the hours in 4 days but i don't think its very meaningful. so i'm still on the look out.

reflections...
i've been chairman of the youth group for about a year and a half already, and i still can't answer the question of what it takes to create a successful youth group. i hope that the youth group can provide a platform to train, encourage, guide and produce youths who have a passion to reach out and touch peoples lives for the better and are equipped to know how to do that effectively, and that we can provide a community that loves, cares and encourages youths within the group and readily accepts new people regardless of individual differences and from there the cycle of training, encouraging and guiding these new people to reach out perpetuates itself. but how to get to there from where we are now? no use just talking, must have concrete ideas and plans to move ahead with.

i've heard stories about missionaries who go to unreached people groups to spend half their lives there to spread the gospel to them only to see little or no fruit and yet years after they have passed on, the number of converts suddenly begin to mushroom. that really isn't my cup of tea, i'm not a big fan of that. i believe that in our context, if we do the right things the right way, lay the right foundation, move in the right direction and sustain a high level of committment and passion to what we do we will see the fruit of our labour. there are examples of such groups who have been able to do that, mega churches in singapore have appeared in recent years and the one that comes to the fore of my mind is city harvest. they grew from a teeny weeny cell group in the early 1990's to become one of the leading churches in singapore. you can critisize them for their brushes with hollywood or their aggresiveness in reaching out to people but you can't deny the fact that they are effective in what they do. reaching out and touching people's lives. and at the very heart of the matter that is what i want to see in the youth group too, that we are effective in what we do. its about touching someone's life, beyond the surface and the layers that we all put up and into the heart, the longings, the lackings, the dissappointments, the hopes, the shattered dreams, the struggles, the fears, the hurts, the pains that we all have buried deep inside to plant a seed. a seed of hope, of truth, of light, of eternal destiny.

we have, we can and one day we will.

excuse the scatteredness of my thoughts.