reflections of the day before

17th January, Tuesday
nothing spectacular in my reading today, but i'm still on schedule. =)

i attended my cousin's memorial service last sunday. it seemed like yesterday, i was driving with all my might to reach the hospital when i got a phone call from my mom telling me my cousin had passed on. i remember slamming my hands on the steering wheel with frustration, i would've kicked myself if i could but i was driving. i wanted to kick myself so hard cos i remember a few days ago we were gonna visit him but becos of some lame reason we didn't, he said it was okay and we thought there would always be another day. that day never had a chance to come, and now it was no more. i wanted to kick myself because it took me so long to make my way down to the hospital, i remembered recieving a call from mom when i was walking to church for musician practice at 2pm, i was leading. mom told me something happened but she didn't know how serious it was and she would update me as soon as she knew. if only i had immediately rushed down i'd at least have seen him a last time before he passed on....

anyway, i was suprised that a year later my cousin's cell group requested their pastor to hold a memorial service for him. suprised that these people who were in no way related to him, remembered him enough to organise the service. i would've thought that by now most people would have moved on with their busy lives and clean forgotten about him but it seems they still remembered. it was a touching service, my uncle spoke about how tough it had been through this past year. i think they were very touched that my cousin's cell group organized the memorial service for them. as i was sitting by the side during the service, it reminded me what church should really be like. people who go out of their way to help another believer in need. a place that extends beyond the four walls of the church where we hold our service and into the walls of every heart.